i had a dream that we were f*cking crazy style on the ice and your ♥♥♥ froze to the ice

Power went out at work today. I was sooo excited because I had only recently got my new flashlight (Skilhunt M150 4). Just a few seconds after lights out (I work in a warehouse, so it gets really dark) I had already whipped out my flashlight and lit up my area. When I walked over to find my coworkers there were already a few grouped up, one being a girl that I’ve kinda been talking to. I showed off the beamage of my everyday. They all giggled and said they would just use their phones while rolling their eyes. It was a bit disheartening, because I had been looking forward to a chance like this to show off my flashlight. But that’s when this guy stepped up and admired my torch. He said it was cool and had me shine it down different parts of the warehouse to see how far it would light up. Then a few other people admired it too. I don’t exactly think that anyone really cared about it, but I thought it was cool of you. Thank you for being cool

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this guy f*cks and sucks!

this dude fruity ah hell. ICKY!!!!!!

One day I met your mother at a bar and after a few drinks she began to get horny so I let her whip out my d**k. She proceeded to go to town and give me the sloppiest blowjob known to mankind. My manmeat was so engorged and sensitive that instantly I blew over 2 liters of ♥♥♥ into every orifice that she possesses. Unknowingly, some of my godly sperm got into her vagina and crawled into her fallopian tube where she was instantly impregnated. The resulting baby is you. I am a proud father, and you are a beautiful godly boy