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All right. This is it. Time for me to get a girlfriend. I can’t keep
sneaking out at night and humping the Wendy’s restaurant sign with sharp
metal edges. I still have scars on my crotch.

It was a 1v5. Match point. We were on T-side, broke as ♥♥♥♥. Bill had a P250 and a decoy. Rest of us wiped in 15 sec after a failed A push. Enemy team started spamming “gg ez” in chat.

Bill, silent, throws the decoy straight up A ramp — it lands perfectly in Palace, bounces twice, rattles. CTs think it’s a push, rotate TWO players up.

Bill slips into connector like a jungle cat, one-taps mid-window AWPer while moving (???), grabs the AWP mid-air, quick-switches, wallbangs the catwalk rifler through short’s corner.

Enemy starts panicking: “WHERE IS HE?”

Bill walks through jungle, jumpscopes CT in ticket booth — pure witchcraft. Last two CTs stuck on B, clueless.

He strolls to A, plants, sets an unholy off-angle on triple. Final CTs sprint in — first jumps from jungle, insta-dinked mid-air. Last peeks stairs, eats a no-scope to chest.

Defusing? No. “gg” in all chat before they hit the ground.

Bill didn’t say a word the whole game.

This guy is sold to russians, it's really unfortunate that man don't understand the importance of denying russians luxuries such as video games so they'll connect such inconvenience with the war that they started, and maybe even start thinking that they can't start the biggest conflict in Europe since WW2 and expect thing to remain as usual.

forgive me for my past emoji mistake, i mean to say

+rep very nice and handsom man, carried me in my video games :D:rocketrat: