Urgent message for Seth Moulton, U.S. Representative for Massachusetts' 6th Congressional District. Mr. Moulton, you must listen. The Jimmy John's sandwich store in 1 Harbor Side Drive, Boston, has been taken over by a Nephilim Kabbalist, working in connection with the Babylonian Brotherhood. Don't believe me? Then why are the employees of the Harbor Side Drive Jimmy John's all nine feet tall and covered in a dense layer of scales? And why did I hear deep chanting and a tribal drumbeat coming from the bathroom? Mr. Moulton, this is a matter of public health and safety. The Jimmy John's Nephilim Kabbal are buried in copious amounts of Jimmy John's signature kickin' ranch sauce to Exxon's CEO, Darren Woods, who immerses himself in large baths of the sauce twice a week to improve the skin's hydration, prevent eye-bagging, and achieve total immortality in a full-mass pre-immortal plane.

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⢰⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠻⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠇⠀⢀⣴⣶⡾⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣀⣀⣸⡿⠀⠀⢸⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣾⡟⠛⣿⡇⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣤⣤⣤⣤⣶⣶⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀
⢀⣿⠀⢀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⢴⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣆
⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⣀⣠⣴⣾⣮⣝⠿⠿⠿⣻⡟
⢸⣿⠀⠘⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠉⠀
⠸⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠻⣷⣶⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣻⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣀⣀⣀⣼⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⡿

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢖⠄⣀⢤⢴⣩⠀⠀
⠐⠠⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡖⡼⡀⣦⡹⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡀⠀⠀⠁⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡷⣩⠛⢣⡱⣾⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠠⠐⠀
⠈⠢⡀⠀⢀⢄⠑⠄⡀⠀⢀⣼⠿⢿⡅⠥⠶⢷⢂⠀⠀⠀⡠⠒⢡⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠩⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠁⢡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠓⡒⠊⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣂⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢤⠄⠂⠁⠁⠒⢠⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢑⡄⢒⠒⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡔⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢢⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠚⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣷⡄
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⣡⠋⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⠈⠁⠈⢛⠁

⣿⣿⣿⡇⢩⠘⣴⣿⣥⣤⢦⢁⠄⠉⡄⡇⠛⠛⠛⢛⣭⣾⣿⣿⡏
⣿⣿⣿⡇⠹⢇⡹⣿⣿⣛⣓⣿⡿⠞⠑⣱⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⣿⣿⣿⣧⣸⡄⣿⣪⡻⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⣀⣀⢡⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣭⣓⡽⡆⡄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋
⠄⢨⡻⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣭⡶⣿⣿⣿⣜⢿⡇⡿⠟⠉
⠄⠸⣷⡅⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣙⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣚⡀
⠄⠄⢉⣾⡟⠙⠶⠖⠈⢻⣿⣷⣅⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⡆⠄⣤⡀
⠄⢠⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⡎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠈⠁
⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶
⠄⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢟⣫⣾⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢮⣭⣍⡭⣭⡵⣾⣿⣿⣿⡎⣿⣿⣌⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⠋
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⡿
⠄⠄⣀⣴⣾⣶⡞⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⡿⠃
⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣹⣿⣳⡄

bro istg i jus saw sum1 type "thsi isnt real beceuz of teh fakts" and like????? HELLO????? r u ok???? how do u expect me 2 understan dis???? u think i got google translate 4 BROKEN HUMAN LANGUAGE??????? 💀💀💀

like fr wht do u type wit?? ur ELBOWS??? ur TOES???? r u smashin ur keyboard n hopin 4 the best?????? u tryna send a secret code 2 aliens or sum?????? 👽📡 bro ur autocorrect looked at u, sighed, n said "nah i aint fixin dis mess" 😭😭

n dont evn say "bruh u kno wht i meant" NO TF I DONT 💀💀 i aint bouta decode ur caveman hieroglyphics jus 2 find out u sayin sum dumb💀💀 if i wanted 2 solve riddles i’d be playin professor layton not readin ur comment 😭

PLS use a braincell next time 🙏🙏 or jus let ur cat type instead maybe he’ll do better 💀