This man touched my peepee

Huh

this man is dangerous he goons to bugs and kills famous tf2 youtubers which is why lazypurple hasnt uploaded.

this person may be a gamer

and your pen never runs out of ink, your screen brightness always feels just right, your shoelaces stay tied all day, your phone battery lasts much longer than you expected, your notifications are always there when you need them, you never miss a step on the stairs, your nose only itches when your hands are free, your keyboard types exactly what you intended, your hoodie strings never get tangled or stuck, and your drink stays exactly where you left it without spilling a single drop

I hope both sides of your pillow are perfectly cool, your blanket is the ideal size and weight, your phone charger works flawlessly from any angle, your Wi-Fi stays fast and stable until everything finishes downloading, your socks stay warm and dry all day, your sleeves stay neatly rolled up when you wash your hands, your alarm wakes you feeling completely refreshed, autocorrect always fixes your mistakes perfectly, your headphones sound crystal clear in both ears every time, every chair you sit on is comfortable and completely silent, your favorite songs play all the way through without interruptions, your food is always the perfect temperature, every traffic light turns green just as you arrive, you always remember exactly why you walked into a room