The art in this game is gorgeous, and the music really fits the atmosphere well. This isn't a voiced VN, but there are a few times the protagonist makes a sound. This contrast makes it much more striking.

Mechanics wise, I think there's some issues with the coding occasionally. When you play the game multiple times, you'll notice that the skip read text doesn't work as intended all the time, there's quite a few lines it's never going to skip over, even though you've already read them. This isn't a major issue though.

Story wise, and for a VN, this is the thing that's truly going to matter, I have to say that it's not going to be for everyone. I looked over some of the negative comments, and the general complaints seemed to be that the VN is seen as too angsty, the story is quite set, there's not enough depth, some people even though that this is unrealistic. Quite a few also complained that there's no good or redemption ending. Generally, I either disagree with those sentiments, or think they're just a little off. It feels like they missed the point. Let me explain.

I'll start off by saying that I have a fairly extensive knowledge of abuse and trauma, both from a personal and a professional standpoint. That doesn't make me a ruling authority on the topic, of course, but that is to say I know a thing or two.

The game is sort of labled as teenage drama or angst, but I don't think that's really accurate. In the protagonist's case, she's been experiencing abuse and has built up a lot of trauma by the time the VN begins. For complex PTSD specifically, which there are multiple signs of (e.g., recurrent dissociation, and for long periods of time), notably the victims usually either fall into the category that they can fly off the handle at seemingly small things or seemingly nothing moves them at all. It's a constant battle for survival, and the brain will do what it feels it has to in order to keep you alive. I want to highlight that according to our current knowledge, C-PTSD is a type of brain damage, precisely because the brain needed to alter itself to ensure your survival in the environment you couldn't get out of. This type of trauma permanently and physically changes the brain in a way that cannot be altered, at the very least, we don't know how yet. That is to say, the problem has been building up for years. The reason why it's "suddenly" bursting forth at this point in time is probably because as children, we lack the understanding of a lot of things, and we're fully reliant on our parents. We need them in order to survive, although, of course, kids also crave to be loved and accepted by their parents, too. It's a fairly complicated matter that's rooted in survival, at the very core of things. The older you get, the more you see other families aren't like that, the more you realise nothing you do is ever going to win you your parents' favour, and the more things are going to spill over. It stops feeling more like a given, like that's just life is, and more that things are unfair. Of course, as a teenager, on top of those things, you're also going to be dealing with a lot of hormonal changes, the impulsivity starts to come out more. As a rule, most teenagers will already have some issues, this is a normal part of adolescene, but this is 100% not that.

I will admit that the story is quite set. To be honest, as far as I can tell, it feels like you have to make a very specific set of choices in a very specific order for your outcome to change at all. It's not at all intuitive. However, I think that's probably intentional, I think that's the point. When you're in a bad situation, you're made to feel like none of the choices you make are right. Even when things are very clearly not your fault, you'll still get blamed. The point is that bad things happen despite the choices you make, the point is that it's unfair, unjust, and that you have very little control over things. Ultimately, to someone who's in a bad situation, it'll feel like there's no way out. Especially children, they genuinely often don't have a way out. There may be some options nowadays, but those are typically not great either, orphanages tend to lead to their own type of trauma, too. Let me tell you, to people who've been stuck in these situations, it's very, very common to fantasise about drastic measures to make it stop. To get revenge. The question is really whether you have enough reason or enough discipline to hold back, and not everyone does. That's reality, no matter how much some want to look away from it, thinking it's unrealistic.

To that end, I want to touch on the notion that there's no good endings or no redemption endings. While I hear that, I also have to ask; does every story need to have a conventionally happy ending? Isn't that more unrealistic than anything? There are people in drastic situations who take drastic measures, we know most people have a line that cannot and should not be crossed, however, most people will also not be extensively tested on this. Having talked to multiple people with extensive trauma, almost all of them disclosed that had they been able to get away with it, they would've gladly taken matters into their own hands. To them, in the cases where the abusers passed away, typically quite a few years down the line where they weren't even stuck in their situations anymore, they celebrated. Full course meals at high end restaurants. One did not, but only because she didn't get the satisfaction of endig the abuser herself. That may be the ugly truth, a horrible reality, but it is what it is. Mind you, most of these people would also never tell these things to people who've not had similar experiences. In fact, most if not all avoid talking about their experiences with people with normal lives at all because the normal ones just never get it. At best, they show pity, at worst, they turn around and accuse you of being childish for not talking it out. From that point of view, I'll also say that some of the endings, in fact, are very happy endings to people who've grown in these types of situations.

Finally, the depth. From a psychological standpoint, specifically focusing on the psychology of trauma, this game is very rich. There are subtleties that will most likely fly under the radar of a lot of normal people. Then there's that you really need to do every route with every character to get the full story because they each add a bit of the psychological background that paints the whole picture. You'll mostly find that all of the characters in the game are deeply flawed characters with their own trauma, and you may find this unrealistic as well. However, unfortunately, this is actually a very well-documented phenomenon. People who suffer trauma will always and forever draw in others like them, they form deep bonds very quickly; this is known as trauma bonding. However, they will also and forever draw in abusers. Suffering abuse once makes you statistically more likely to become a victim again in the future. This happens for multiple reasons, but one notable one, for sure, is that people who grew without real love and proper care will typically spend the rest of their lives searching for it, desperately, and someone like that is just very easy to manipulate.

I think the TLDR is that for people who've experienced abuse or are knowledgable on it, they're going to get a lot out of this game. If you have a loved one who's experienced abuse, this game may help you understand how they feel or felt a little bit. But you have to know that this VN isn't going to be a good or a comfortable experience, probably for a lot of people who haven't experienced trauma. If you're expecting a conventionally happy ending, this game isn't going to be for you, and that's ok.

DOOM AND DESPAIR VN
XUMIN MY NONCHALANT AVOIDANT EDGELORD FINE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WHERE ARE YOU
SPOILER ALEERRTT Xuminmin my goat deserved a good ending...

yuri of doom and despair 10/10