garbage is tasty

Tripping is effective, but psychological combat should not be forgotten. One time a kid at a brunch spot was running around a restaurant swinging his hands vertically going "VROOM VROOM" and said he was an airplane. He bumped into our table several times and the girl I was with looked annoyed but was like "don't you dare.' Well, this time he bumped into my side of the table while shout "VROOM VROOM." His googly arms slapping around without a single care in the world. Kid was basically a tyrant and even his parents giving him an Ipad couldn't stop his reign of annoyance. He had clearly warn them down. Broken them. Sadly for him, this would be the day he would come face to face with the unbreakable.

I also saw his attempt at the maze on his kid's meal placemat and he just drew straight through the maze walls. What an absolute piece of ♥♥♥♥. That is clearly cheating. That is not how the maze was meant to be completed. If this is how you handle the coloring maze then I bet you are even worse when it will come to the crossword puzzle section. I completed BOTH the maze and the crossword section fairly btw. However, that is neither here nor there. He continued to shout out VROOM VROOM as he spun all around recklessly.

After bumping into the table for the last time I patiently told him planes do not in fact go vroom vroom and the propellers do not spin in a vertical line. He arrogantly said "nah-uh." Didn't even hesitate. I almost respect his blatant not giving a ♥♥♥♥, but he had already entered the lion's den. I simply asked "you ever been on a plane?" He said proudly "I've seen the movie PLANES!" And I was like "The CARS spin off? That is a cartoon. That is not real. Do you think planes can talk too?? Have you been on a plane?" My girl was kicking my ankles to try and make me stop, but I already had this kid dead to rights. As if I was going to stop now.
And he meekly said no, and I was like "well then how would you know??? How would you know planes go vroom vroom???" He sat there thinking REALLY HARD as if that was going to do anything. After he just stared at me with a flushed red face, like he was a psychic or something trying to make my head burst (he wasn't) his parents called him back. His plain spaghetti in butter arrived (mid to low tier brunch choice tbh). He was not happy with this point as his parents made him sit down and eat his spaghetti. I was finishing up my eggs benny with salmon and a side of rosemary potatoes (high tier brunch choice).

The girl I was with said "I hope you are proud you won a debate with a child" and I was. Deep down inside I know she was too. She couldn't hide that smirk. After we paid the bill and we were walking out I looked back at the kid and swung my arms vertically to mock him. We made eye contact. There was acknowledgment. He was seething. I was smiling. Enjoy your spaghetti, you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ automobile.