Kaurv
Bordeaux, Aquitaine, France
ignorance is bliss
retardation is salvation
ignorance is bliss
retardation is salvation
Currently In-Game
Total War: NAPOLEON - Definitive Edition
Favorite Game
Review Showcase
151 Hours played
I've just finished the game (sent a spaceship to the stars) for the first time.
♥♥♥♥, where do I start?

This game is great, and I'm not saying that lightly; each chunk of gameplay, each music, the simple yet nice graphics, everything: is amazing.
You get attached to your pawns (game's term for your colonists), sometimes even your livestock; I shall tell you the story of One-Eye the Brave:

One-Eye was a bison. Bought off some traders at the very beginning of my save.
What made him so special to me, you may ask?
Each time the colony was fighting a difficult battle, he and his wife Ferala (she died on the battlefield, God bless her soul) would put themselves between the colonists and harm, tanking so the pawns could keep shooting.
One of these instances is how One-Eye earned his name; we were hunting Thrumbos; they got close to us, the courageous bisons won us that fight, but at a price : he had become one-eyed.
Much later, an infestation occured in the stockpile. Four bisons (including One-Eye) got involved.
Victory was achieved, at a bitter cost :
One-Eye and another bison bled out.
He was gone, but shall never be forgotten. His legacy, the colony and his offsprings, lived on.
A jade sarcophagus was built to honour him. He was the hero we needed, but didn't deserve.
May he rest in peace.
Recent Activity
6.8 hrs on record
Currently In-Game
114 hrs on record
last played on Sep 27
7 hrs on record
last played on Sep 26
Dec 26, 2025 @ 12:30am 
orb
Dec 25, 2025 @ 5:01pm 
orb
Oct 22, 2024 @ 2:00am 
A Lizo.... AND a gamer? Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! *eyes pop out* AROOOOOOOOGA! *jaw drops tongue rolls out* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lizo... *heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum *milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets* BABY WANTS TO ♥♥♥♥ *inhales from the gas tank* honka honka honka honka *masturabtes furiously* ohhhh my gooooodd~
Jun 23, 2023 @ 3:41pm 
[11:40 PM]
Kaurv:
i dont remember the last time i saw a non anime film

[11:40 PM]
polo:
KILL YOURSELF
Jun 8, 2023 @ 11:02am 
[7:00 PM]
Kaurv:
honestly i dont believe in women (nor sex)

[7:01 PM]
polo:
theyre a social construct at best
sex however is real and you should HAVE IT
Apr 5, 2023 @ 4:03pm 
[12:01 AM]
Kaurv:
i am the smartest man alive (in a ret*rd way)

[12:01 AM]
polo:
thats me but keep talking ♥♥♥♥

[12:01 AM]
Kaurv:
us...

[12:02 AM]
polo:
;)

[12:02 AM]
Kaurv:
i dont mean to coerce you, but;....
"i am the smartest man alive (in a ret*rd way)" is very comment worthy do you not think...