So basically I was on my phone watching another YouTube tutorial on how to clean your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for gay sex when my wife suddenly burst into the bathroom. By instinct I pressed the lock screen button but recently I had bought YouTube Premium so the video kept playing in the background at full volume, much to my horror and despair. I tried unlocking my phone to close the app but my fingers were too moist from my cleaning operation and so I sat there while the man in the video started moaning, my wife finally figuring out that I was gay. We divorced the next day.

What's up gamers? My wife just made an epic announcement! She's leaving me, and she's taking the kids! Ha ha ha! I'll see YOU on the battle bus!

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Minecraft is truly the pinnacle of gaming. You need an incredibly advanced set of intellectual skills, an IQ of at least 250, and you need to be older than 25 in order to truly comprehend even the most basic aspects of the game. Think about it. Every click, every movement, everything you do can potentially determine what you will do later on in the game. Minecraft is a strategy game on par with Chess. Each version of Minecraft varies so much that they're basically entirely different games. I'm seriously tired of everyone calling this a game for little kids, little kids can barely understand LEGO, let alone the masterpiece that is Minecraft. Do you think that a little kid could build a working calculator in Minecraft? Hell no. Playing Minecraft is one of the most mentally exhausting things you could ever do.

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