*steals your back hairs*

Slopping down some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ with these fat ♥♥♥♥♥ and I’m the fattest of them all. If I died tomorrow no one would shed a tear. Load my freakin’ lard carcass into the mud. No coffin please, just wet, wet mud. Bae.

i want you.

Holy $hit This is a really cool profile you've got here!!! I can't stop respecting the beauty of it !! Take my +Rep! Take another from my second account !! (+repx2) Hell, take a 5 Dollar Gift Card, why not? Scratch that, a 10 dollar card ! Scratch that, a 25 dollar card even! God, just come to my house and plunge your alt grip zweihander into my [kite shield] already! You can have my wallet afterwards too! Take the credit cards too, I’ll even give you the PIN numbers! Hell, you can take the whole damn house while you’re at it! You can even have my wife and kids if you want! I’m willing to go into poverty just because your Steam Profile looks so good and i can't stop respecting it !!

hey there buddy chum pal friend buddy pal chum bud friend fella bruther amigo pal buddy friend chummy chum chum pal i don't mean to be rude my friend pal home slice bread slice dawg but i gotta warn ya if u take one more diddly darn step right there im going to have to diddly darn snap ur neck and wowza wouldn't that be a crummy juncture, huh? do yuo want that? do wish upon yourself to come into physical experience with a crummy juncture? because friend buddy chum friend chum pally pal chum friend if you keep this up well gosh diddly darn i just might have to get not so friendly with u my friendly friend friend pal friend buddy chum pally friend chum buddy...

Hey, uh… so, listen. -pushes up anime glasses-

I don’t usually reach out (social anxiety moment 😳), but while moderating my 12th Discord server and sipping Monster, I realized—out of 8 billion people, only 0.000000001% are cool gamer girls… and yet, here you are. Fate??

Not to be weird (I am very anti-creep behavior 😤), but we’d make a great co-op duo. I’m kinda cracked at L4D2—I’d clear the horde while you loot. Not because you need help (I deeply respect gamer equality), but because I believe in putting women first in video games.

No pressure!! Just thought you seemed cool (not in a parasocial way!! Unless…? 🤔). If you wanna game, discuss Stardew’s economy, or vibe in VC while I respectfully listen, my Discord is ModDaddy#420. Or not!! No worries!! 😅 -nervously adjusts cat ear headphones-

Hope you have a poggers day, m’lady. 🚀✨