Recent reviews by skidmark489

NOT ENOUGH WAIFUS. 0/10 CYBER-BABES.
As the Head Admin of a 5,000-member Vtuber Discord server, I bought this expecting a top-tier 2D visual novel. Instead, I got a sci-fi thriller about "android rights." Excuse me? I don't care about the revolution, Markus. I care about why the Eden Club androids don't have cat ears.

The Breakdown:
Chloe (Menu Girl): The only reason this isn't a negative review. She’s the only female who doesn't block me when I open her DMs. I leave the game open on my second monitor while I mass-ban trolls in #general-chat.

Connor: Literally me. Hunting down deviants and rule-breakers who post memes in the #art-gallery. High-tier mod simulator.

The "NSFW" Scam: I spent three hours trying to clip the camera through the glass booths at the cyber-brothel. Nothing. Just smooth, Barbie-doll plastic. David Cage has ruined my day.

Verdict: 6/10. No anime aesthetics, but the thrill of enforcing rules satisfies my inner officer. Tips fedora.

DMs are open to any e-girls who want to discuss the lore (Must be Server Level 15+).

0/10 — Completely Unplayable. False Advertising.

I bought this game expecting a masterpiece, and what do I get? An absolute disaster.

I booted it up, spent 30 minutes in the character creator trying to find the sliders to turn my tarnished warrior into a 2D anime waifu. Nothing. Not a single pink hair option that defies the laws of physics. No oversized cat ears. Absolutely zero cell-shaded graphics.

I thought, "Okay, maybe they’re hiding the good stuff in the actual game." So I spawn in, walk out into Limgrave, and instead of being greeted by a cheerful, voice-acted anime babe asking me to save her magical kingdom, some golden guy on a horse immediately beats me into a puddle.

Where are the visual novel segments? Where are the beach DLC outfits? Where is the NSFW content that I specifically browse Steam late at night to find? Instead, all I got was depression, grey rocks, and a giant tree that looks like it hasn't seen a drop of water in a millennia.

I looked everywhere for a swimsuit skin for Malenia, but apparently, the only thing she exposes is my total lack of gaming skill.

Thankfully, Steam support understood my profound grief and approved the refund. I will be taking my $60 back to where it belongs: buying high-quality, 99-cent anime puzzle games that actually respect my cultural needs.

Avoid this garbage unless you actually like "gameplay" and "challenges." Disgusting.

Sighs deeply and cracks knuckles. Unbelievable.

I was told this franchise was for "men of culture," so I grinded through these dark, miserable tunnels for hours expecting some top-tier post-apocalyptic waifu content. And what do I get? Absolutely nothing. Zero fanservice. Not a single 2D babe to bless my screen. Just a bunch of sweaty, bearded Russian dudes named Bourbon shouting about anomalies and military-grade ammo.

The gas mask mechanic is okay, I guess (reminds me of the air quality in my room when the AC breaks), but without any NSFW content to reward my efforts, this game is a literal desert. It’s a total threat to my dopamine levels.

@everyone do NOT buy this. Absolute zero waifu multiplier. Giving this a fat downvote and muting the devs in my head canon. Tips fedora aggressively.

PINNED MESSAGE BY THE SERVER OWNER: "WE HAVE FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL, CHATS."

Oh, my sweet pixelated sniper queen Anna... selective breeding at its finest in the post-apocalypse.

I almost deleted the whole franchise after the first game, but Last Light Redux saved my sanity. The devs finally realized what the community actually wanted: PLOT. And by plot, I mean the absolute top-tier, cultured, completely uncensored fanservice. When Anna finally let her guard down, my heart was going dokidoki faster than my Geiger counter in a radiation hotspot.

The gunplay is tight, the stealth is immaculate, and the graphics are gorgeous, but let’s be real—we are here for the uncensored peak fiction. This game single-handedly justified my 4K monitor purchase.

Verified masterpiece. 10/10. Off to demote anyone in my server who doesn't have Anna as their profile picture.

I bought this game fully expecting a high-tier waifu simulator packed with gorgeous anime girls and spicy, uncensored NSFW content, but my disappointment is immeasurable. Every single scene is completely devoid of thick anime thighs and degenerate ecchi fan service, which immediately drops the rating down to zero. Instead of getting to romance a beautiful, visual-novel-style anime girl, the game forces me to stare at a deeply depressed, middle-aged French dad who desperately needs a shower. (me too).

I am currently playing as Madison, and the only reason I haven't uninstalled yet is because I'm frantically praying her chapter finally introduces some wild, uncensored NSFW plot twists to save me from this dry spell. My quick-time event reflexes are completely shot because I'm too busy looking for hidden adult mods or any sign of a pixelated anime girl on my screen. This entire experience is just a 10-hour panic attack where I keep mashing the keyboard, hoping a random button combo will accidentally unlock a secret, high-octane NSFW cutscene.

If you are looking to guide a wholesome, non-anime cast through a rainstorm without accidentally getting them killed because your hands are shaking from lack of fan service, this is the game for you.

The rain literally never stops, my keyboard is sweating, I desperately need a shower just like Ethan Mars, and there are still absolutely zero anime waifus or NSFW rewards in sight.

Solid 2/10

Listen up, kittens. I bought Forza Horizon 6 because it’s set in Japan, right? So naturally, I expected the streets of Tokyo to be absolute waifu central.

Unfortunately, I found nothing.

I’ve been driving around for 6 hours and there isn’t a single anime girl in sight. Just... beautifully rendered cars and realistic cherry blossoms? My 3D irl "girlfriend" actually broke up with me because I spent our dinner money on the Ultimate Edition. Honestly? Good riddance. She wasn't 2D anyway.

But seriously, where is the culture? How am I supposed to properly drift down Mount Fuji without a catgirl goddess in the passenger seat calling me Senpai?

I'm leaving a negative review because the devs clearly don't understand the needs of a high-tier Discord Admin. 🛑

cookie

Look, listen. Look man, I don't think you're a bad guy...

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