goated

i like to smoke some reefer & play

My strange yet beautiful experience with "The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion"


Some time ago, I had decided to purchase Oblivion.
At first, it was good, perhaps too good.
All I could think about was Oblivion, I could extract immense pleasure from this medium.
Oblivion had overtaken my thoughts, I would converse with myself obsessively, about builds, level-ups and items which I must consider when playing again.
I was completely immersed, I was in fact, an inhabitant of Cyrodiil.
While playing, I felt a rush of energy, which quickly turned into anxiety. I felt on edge at all times (while playing) and unfortunately, had to abandon my journey (for now).

A few months later, I returned, with enthusiasm and determination.

This time however, the magic was gone. I simply couldn't enjoy it anymore, the fact that I soft locked myself out of the mages quest line, due to a bug ... I mean feature, didn't really help either.
I stopped playing again.

Eventually, during times of technical difficulties, I had no other option but to play Oblivion, as all the other games were too demanding for my dying hardware.
So I returned, this time however, on the lowest possible graphic settings.

What an odd place indeed, almost liminal. Oblivion on the lowest graphical settings was certainly an experience.

I eventually got bored, again.

Later, I intentionally destroyed my hardware, in an attempt to beat my addiction to video games.

37 days later, I had enough, I dug out a laptop, almost older than myself, from the ancient ruins of a flea market.

This laptop could barely boot up, but somehow, it managed to run Oblivion.

And here I was again, playing the game, on the lowest possible graphical settings.
I had returned to the world of Cyrodiil.

While I can't really find deep enjoyment within the game anymore (like the first time I played it), I still cannot help but appreciate its existence.
A comforting presence, a friend that never left, someone you can rely on, no matter what.

Thank you Bethesda.