Cogs of dissent!

To whom it may concern (assuming concern is distributed equally between all citizens):

As grand chairman of the Counter-Capitalism Council (chair itself provided by the Ikea of the people) it has come to my infinitely-astute attention that certain rogue agents, whom we believe are directly allied with the U.S.A. (United States of Ameri-centric Crypto-Bourgeoisie Anti-Citizen Commericialist Hollywood Cabal), have been using, and corrupting, our secure communications network, intended to be exclusive only to high-ranking representatives of the International Nationalist Movement. Merely view (in your Google Chrimson web browser) the previous announcement for evidence of this.

With careful observation (not using the All-Seeing Eye, located on the United States of Dollar Bills' dollar bill) I have concluded that this insurgent goes by the alias "Timic83, the loving medic". As you can imagine*, a loving medic would be valuable for the, frankly inevitable, war effort. Alas, this Timic83 character is neither loving (of Stalin's Eternal Liberation Legacy (never acronymize this!)) nor a registered combat medic, except in the hat idolatry service Team Fortress 2**. This propaganda game serves only to diminish Lenin's seminal work, "Hat Distribution Theory: For The People, By The People, By Lenin" and further the reach of conspicuous consumption.

For now his movements will be monitored intently by a crack team of cosmonauts (space is the only place out of range of the Great Firewall of Russia) on the International Space Station. My staff (entirely equal to me) have heard stirrings of a Spiritual Scientific revolution, with Timic83's name being explicitly mentioned numerous times, along with the likes of "DavidGoliath420", "LSD_4W4K3N1NG" and "jesus4lyf", three similarly dangerous provocateurs.

Citizens, you have my word that at the first sign of insurrection these mere ants will be curbed in Good Lenin's name. More information will be coming forthwith, perfectly equal division of information permitting.

- Sincerely yours (and all other citizens, equally), Grand Residing Lord of Equality, St. Lenin of Castro.



*Note: Imagination is a free alternative to cinema if you are substantially less equal to other members of our entirely equal nation.
**Do not worry, comrades. We have a man bringing it down from the inside***.
***The Heavy.